Happy Meditating :)

Crtsy: Sciencemag.org

I believe in the signs of the Universe.  When I keep bumping into something repeatedly, I strongly feel a pull towards it and realise the need to pay heed. Now the Universe sending signs does not mean it will come down to you shake hands and say “ Hello Sir, You are expected to write a 500 word essay on the subject I have been throwing at you the last few days  .”   That isn’t going to happen!!  So, we need to figure out what it is that the sign is trying to imply. Understanding or recognising and trying to work around a sign in itself is to be aware of the moments.

So I have been stumbling upon this word since the last few days.  Since I don’t know what else to do with it , I am sharing my experience and outlook on the subject!! MEDITATION – a free halo and the brightest LED torch comes with it which you can fix on your spine or head. You don’t believe it ? Try telling someone you meditate and they would instantly bless you with these free items J   Very Jokes wonly ;)  Every time I mention the word mediation I feel like an infant stepping into a large hall with a tall roof full of toys …..excited,  confused and small !! Its been about two years since I started sitting with a stick trying to get my wicked mind to obey! To give a quick overview of my character ..i am that kind of person who is easily bored and easily entertained. I need to keep my restless cells active to feel useful. If at the end of the day I realise that I have just spent the day at home doing my routine mundane chores, I may sink into a low and dig a deeper grave thinking and wondering what an unproductive life I lead!!! So as to avoid this kind of thinking I used to keep myself up and running! I am also a curious cat. So seeking and being curious about things are in the gene. Various incidents combined with my outlook and seeking nature made me sail into the vast ocean of meditation.  It was insane!! Every time I tried to meditate my mind unleashed a stream of frenzied thoughts as if they had been suppressed forever!  My monkey mind kept swaying from one limb to the other . It included mental arguments, preparing a list of provisions I needed to get, wondering why my son is not scoring well, thinking if I am a good parent, trying to recollect if I loaded the washing machine, huffing and puffing over the dirty dishes in the sink, and the list goes on and on ! So this is how my meditation went on for a while.  Forget getting close to God, it didn’t seem like I was even getting close to reducing the number of issues my mind was fretting over!!!  They just seemed to increase everyday and to add to the misery,  there were these songs that kept playing in my head. Ok I know what you are thinking  !! Sorry peeps, its not those soothing ones that can actually lull one into the swaying motion of the waves making  one float and slip into a higher level of consciousness . Nop, its not one of those….its the likes of ‘Mukkala Mukkabala’ or ‘Tu cheez badi hain mast mast’ that kept grinning at me !! Not happening! I told myself, this is NOT Meditation.  And the kind of transformation I had expected in my character and outlook was also not happening.  When I told people I meditate, I got raised eyebrows ! I never claimed to be Sadhguru or Shri Shri Ravishankar,   but the moment I mentioned meditation ,that was the expectation! If not Sadhguru or Shri Shri, atleast Dalai Lama or Buddha !!!!!
Ok, so now coming back to my sorry state with regards to meditation, I had lost hope on quietening my mind because it was getting rebellious than ever!

I lost hope, true, but I did not give up !! I still made it a point to sit down everyday in the same place and talk to myself. It later became my time of conversation with myself. I started realizing that it is actually the time when I know and account for all that is going on inside my head and heart. Atleast I was talking to myself if not to the creator. Gradually, very very gradually, I realized the voices inside my head have softened or rather I needed to strain to hear what they were. They were still there but not as vivid as they once used to be ! And what an achievement, the songs have also switched to the soft ones, ones which can actually translocate me.  Now, this  for me personally is a step , however small it is, it is a step forward .  This is meditation in the sense of sitting down with closed eyes and journeying inward.

If I am to take mediation to the next level of diluting it into the 24 hours of a day, I experience another level of consciousness and understanding.  I have learned to pause, observe, breathe and absorb. I am able to notice the butterflies, I am able to experience the breeze in its full glory, I notice the expression in peoples eyes, I focus and enjoy the food I eat. I see more, I notice more, I appreciate more, I value more! I have a lot of respect for people who write on the smallest aspects of life, the photographers who pause to capture an ant, dew resting on the leaves, the floating clouds, the smile on a child’s face or even a pleasant candid moment between friends. It means they have paused, they have absorbed, they have been in that moment. This for me is the highest form of meditation. Appreciating the Now! It is about not worrying about the spilt milk and also not being anxious about the loss in the sale of milk from the cow you never had! But as humans, we tend to fall into the trap of negative thinking.  That’s ok, as long as we make an effort to rise with chin up. Try not to be here and there. Either be here or there! But I know that we are all taught to multi task to survive in this rat race . That’s also ok !! Try , if you are finding it difficult, try harder J

So my very little nuggets of wisdom my dear ones would be that, please appreciate the beauty of what is around you. Don’t miss out on the magic of little things while seeking greater pleasure. Enjoy everything that you do. Even if it is a problem resolving,  be in it and give your cent percent to it.  Meditation is not just silencing your mind, it is also learning to live in the moment and being happy where you are , creating an  awareness which eventually guides you into a consciousness shift! Live in the moment and Happy Mediating J  

#LessonsFromNature

Me: You look so calm

Ocean: Do I ?

Me: Yes, u do !!

Ocean: Thank you . You have no idea what’s going on inside.

Me : I have heard. That’s exactly why I wonder!!

Ocean : I have two options. 
Option one: Bring out my internal turmoil and disturb the peace you experience while watching me

OR

Option Two :Keep them inside me while you watch me. Throw my tantrums in the night at my trusted MOON who listens , forces me to uproot and reconnect. I hence do not disappoint the people coming to me seeking peace and calmness.

I choose option two !!!!
My dear friend, Who doesn’t have internal conflicts , mental arguments, mysterious and dangerous demons whom we defeat sometimes ..whom we give in to at other times? Its all about dealing with them gracefully….its about keeping your chin up acknowledging the fact that your body has housed different types of energies trapped inside and  that they may not all act in balance at all times. Forgive yourself , don’t be hard on yourself, love yourself ..only then you can emit this energy of love and peace to the world outside. I love my sharks as much as I love my starfish. They both are in me.  I still have icebergs which you have not even seen the tip of !! Stay calm and love yourself for all that you are  !

If only..

To thee, i shall rise in flames

for i hold no fear 

of being burnt down to ashes.

If Fana be my only poison,

into a million stardust i shall burst

only to illuminate your

murky orbit.

As i disintegrate 

i want you to know

thy magic would have 

dawned upon

If only you breathed through my lungs .

Dazzling Enchantress

I am drawn to her in ways myriad
The dazzling enchantress in her ensemble
of grey orange red and gold.
Under her spell , i
pause breathe absorb
the agony despair ecstasy.
She whispered ..Let the trousseau not hide in your closet
They are for the world to see
Ur canvas is not to be in black or white
but an unframed abstract of hues untold !! 

Hey, Do I Know ME ??

In a lifetime, there are many roles one is destined to play.
How many of them do we embrace and how many we dismiss off? We embrace the socially accepted roles and dismiss off the less or rather not approved ones, yeah?
The world around us is constantly evolving , how can we remain consistent in this evolving environment.
What is the cost of being indecisive and uncertain about yourself? Human beings are currently only aware of time travelling in one direction . So,the cost of being indecisive at this point would be simply time slipping away !!
Have your tried answering the question 'What do you want in life and how far are you willing to travel to achieve it .'
That's a tough one to crack! How many times have you dived into the depth of your being and asked yourself this so far in this lifetime?
If I pull myself out of the rat race that the world is in, what I witness is people milling about, running towards their goal set by everyone but themselves, copying/ performing acts not knowing where they came from and why they came about, pleasing a set of people that are in no way connected to them and eventually shaping into someone that is not even a poor copy of their true self! Sad, yeah??
Being busy was never same as being productive or being happy. My life goal has always been to stay happy because of which I have had to take a detour from the road most travelled. But my path was /is never easy because along with the influential external factors, there is also a journey that I have to take inward since I am looking for answers that can make me truly happy ! This inward journey is one which explores your soul, a ride which brings your five senses in harmony with the rhythm of your being , the music of your soul, the one that's been playing across lifetimes.
Some are fortunate enough to have a great support system where as some fight all odds to understand their source.

Society's paradigms have never been very encouraging. They mostly kill creativity, banish dreams, suppress expressions which could have probably been yourticket to heaven on earth. How entangled we all are in the conventional web of the society. But the undeniable fact is that we are also social beings.
A walk in the opposite direction could end up in unhappiness if not well prepared. So what is it then? It is about striking that fine balance.

Try asking yourself everyday
What do I want in life
Am I going to sit on my reclined chair wondering or lift my a** and do something achieving it
Who/What are my bottlenecks
How can I overcome them
Also the BIIIG ONE: Am I ready to face the consequences of being ME??
My take on it would be:
Do it as long as you don't become mean in your journey .Now, for arguments sake you can ask me who decides wats mean and wats not!! C'mon! We all know what it is to be mean and what it is to empathise. So, hurt and harm another as much less as possible . Sometimes we just have to be mean to keep danger at bay!
Do it if it completes YOU.
Do it if it can be contained within your belief system.
Do it if it will bring a smile on the face of the people who matter or not !

I do not believe in getting another chance to do it right. If you do, you are the lucky one!!

'If i die tomorrow, will i have gotten everything in the world i ever wanted? No, But i will have gotten everything that made me the happiest ' Sandra Bullock

Home Bound

Stroll down the Kalpathy Lane

My childhood and teens had carried a certain dislike towards the Palakkad district in Kerala. It was one of those ‘Je ne sais qoi’ kind of dislikes or it could also be the cause and effect of a conditioned mind. I say so because it was formed without any concrete reason, just from tittle-tattle. Hailing from a Muslim dominated distrct in Kerala and being raised in the Gulf, I was more familiar with the Fajr and Azan prayers . Food for the soul was most undoubtedly Biriyani !! Inherited love towards porotta, pathiri and varutharacha kozhi curry was all part of having Malabar hardwired into my system.

So back to my detester towards Palakkad ! I have always felt that if ever you carry strong emotions, be it negative or positive, towards anything , Universe makes sure that you change your perspective on the same. It is nature’s way of telling you that it’s all in the mind. So here I was being married off to Palakkad. It made me think, ‘Of all the places, why Palakkad?’ . I found solace in the fact that my husband being in the Gulf, I wouldn’t have to spend much of my time at Palakkad. True to my apprehensions, initially, I wasn’t very impressed with the heat of Palakkad. But beyond the demographics, Kalpathy ( Tamil Brahmin street in Palakkad) had a charm I had not witnessed before. During the initial years, my conditioned mind had worked in my favour and I did not want to pay much heed to this small settlement. After my son was born, I was too busy in his world to be able to pay any attention to the world outside. All this while Kalpathy passed by me in silence. Patiently it carried on with its humble existence. 

My in laws stayed a street away from Kalpathy and I always had an affinity for that house and the lovely people in it. It was very different from my parents’ house as in one was socially alive where as the other had an aura of heavenly solitude. As my son grew bigger, I looked forward to my holiday stay at my in laws’. By then I had begun to observe Kalpathy and its modest survival. My inward journey prospered in the spiritual ambience. The Brahmin lifestyle I witnessed around had a certain divinity which was enriching in every sense. Though I am not for ritualism, the many number of poojas I attended as a good neighbour was truly a blissful experience. Ringing of the bells and chanting of the mantras had its own magical influence. An evening stroll down the Kalpathy lane was a treat to all my senses. Age old houses sharing common walls had old Brahmin couples resting on the ummarapadi ( the seating at the foyer)facing the artfully done kolam. This kolam would have reduced into a fine line of white dust by evening. Even then shining through it was the rich culture and tradition . Aroma of filter coffee and jasmine flowers filled the air. Life seemed simple and people seemed content. Extreme humility of Kalpathy is reflected in its scholars, musicians, scientists pouring in from different corners of the world to be a part of the famous Ratholsavam (Kalpathy Chariot festival) . The famous proverb ‘ Looks are deceptive’ was re affirmed when I saw the dhoti clad Brahmin scholars (sacred thread across the chest confirms the upper caste) walking up and down the streets of Kalpathy in the most unassuming manner. Streets and temples of Kalpathy narrated tales of more than 700 years.

After 13 years of my marriage my mother in law has decided to shift base to Malabar due to personal reasons. It is a matter of excitement for me as Malabar runs in my veins. But as I process the fact that I will no longer have those long stays at Kalapathy, I feel a heavy cloud hanging over my chest. 

What am i being snatched away from ?

· Is it the serenity of the house that also happens to be my husband’s debut architectural design?

· Is it the temple bells and the mantras ringing loud?

· Is it the soul filling aroma of filter coffee and jasmine flowers?

· Is it the visual treat of Kanjeevaram clad Brahmin women ?

· Is it the seemingly uncomplicated and technologically less driven community?

· Is it the heart warming fact that the rat race is few streets FAR away?

I know not!! I guess it’s a combination of it all.

By jotting down these sentiments I come of realization that I will miss the Varanasi of South for reasons more than one. May the soul of this place always rise above the competitive struggle of the modern world !!