Will you miss me when I’m gone ??

O My Crimson Sky
Your rays fill my eye
I look into thee
and Wonder with no glee
Will you miss waking me
when I’m gone ??


O My enveloping Breeze
Softening in your caress
entwined in your embrace
seeks my mind restless
Will you miss touching me
when I’m gone??


As clouds erupt
bathing me as it wept
soaked in consumption
brimming in me myriad emotions
my lovely drops,Will you miss cleansing me
when I ‘m gone ??


Books and pens all way long
Placing me where I belong
At my best companions I stare
Contemplating ,pensively I ponder
Will you miss journeying with me
when i’m gone??


Into those moist eyes
penetrates my hazy gaze
forgiveness I meekly ask
for a promise I break
Teary eyed, in silence I plead “Don’t miss me when I’m gone”


Eyes shut, I inhale deep
Memories loom large
My pathway it adorns
Stop by each, Smile by each
Stepping into eternity, I whimper
“I will miss you when I’m gone”

A Journey of Love and Peace..

                                         Lasheen - Never forgotten!!

To this beautiful human being/friend who came , touched many and left as a gentle breeze . To this wonder who re - affirmed my belief in connections beyond what meets the eye!

Art thou on the journey

thou embarked upon
One that spreads its wings
and flies over the horizon

Art thou on the journey
thou embarked upon
One that whistles its way
through the dark alley

Art thou on the journey
thou embarked upon
One that drives thou
to the inane thrills

Art thou on the journey
thou embarked upon
One that ripples through
layers of imagination

My friend, art thou still

on this journey

On a plane unbeknownst to us

Though the planet a little less bright
Though minds a little less agile
Though eyes a little less playful
Though the Cup Of Life a little less full

A deep layer from 

the abyss whispers
Thou art on an eternal journey
A journey of Love and Peace !

I do Nothing, they say !

Funny Faces
Mocking me?
Is it me
or is it them?
Sanity i know not
who defines

I do nothing
they say.

I do
i say.
I sing
but they no hear
I write
but read they not
I cook
But no morsel they taste
I clean
only to be dirty again
I sacrifice
they comprehend not
I happy
but they no feel.

I do nothing
they say.

When i go Home,
the Good Lord
will hold me close
whisper into my ear
'Your song i hear
You write so well
Food so fine i never did taste
I walk with you when in pain
Your happy waves touch my shore.
Results i no seek
Your intentions i see.
As pure as they are

dear to me you are.

I do nothing
they say
It matter not
I say.

Back to School Story

"Aiyyo..ee school onnu pettannu thurannu kittiyal mathi !!! "
(Transliterated to : Gosh ! I wish the school re- opened soon !)


I screeched repeatedly the last five months. You may ask "Why five months???" When all the parents, err...mothers undergo the same torture for only two months, why am I blessed with the extra three months?? Yea , my positive mind believes that I receive extra blessings, even in the form of months :/


Now, back to the horrendous question: Why five months??


We parents , especially mothers like to believe that we are super smart when it comes to decisions about our children!! (Okay! Fathers don't need to go HA HA HA !! It is a fact that we are smart) I am not sure if I will inherit any money from my mother but I have for sure already inherited this characteristic feature proudly from her, the super smart one! So when we moved my sons school, the school authorities advised to keep him in school until the start of summer holidays also warning us that keeping him at home for five months could prove very taxing (For who?? Wish they spoke with a little more clarity :'( ) Sorry, the super smart parents are not willing to give in. We said with vigour "Nothing doing ! We will not pay the school fees unnecessarily . He shall start the new academic year in September, which is five months later." They agreed.

Triumphant- We!!


After the five month duration I ask :

Do I look like my blood has been sucked out of my system??
Do I look like I have lost the battle of life ?
Is my hair violating Newtons law of gravity ??

This particular illness can only be termed as " Holiday Effects". Whose holiday ? is a very relevant question to be asked. Yes I would reply, MY SON'S HOLIDAYS as if shaken out of a haunting memory .
So,coming to think of it. Five months of keeping a 10 year old boy at home has been a super demanding task. Keeping him engaged, answering his questions every five minutes, attending to his 'BOOOOREEEEEDDD' shouts in the form of hot snacks! Also his ' WILL COLLAPSE IF NOT MET NOW' demands ranging as below:

FOOOD
TeeeeeVeeeeee
PS4
HuuuuuG (???)
KiiiiiiiiiiSS (?????)
I ran out of ideas, I ran out of enthusiasm, I ran out of patience, I ran out of all the philosophical and spiritual lines which held me together, I simply ran out of my sanity !!

Everyday I prayed to help me keep calm and send constant reminders to my brain cells that this child is 23 years younger than me .
So after the melodramatic five months, Shan today is back to school.
When he walked into the new campus waving me goodbye, there was a mild pull in my chest. No, you don't need to go 'Awww', yet !! It was the familiar one which precedes an upcoming excitement.I looked forward to the solitude awaiting me at home. I got back home and the first hour was absolute bliss. In the next hour I responded loudly to a call I thought I had heard, the same call that had kept bombarding my eardrums every five minutes in the last five months. It took me a few seconds to realise that I was actually responding to the imaginary "Ammaa" call. I felt a pang and it came from the deepest core of my being. One that only a mother or a person with a motherly instinct can empathise with. I looked at the peacefully quiet PS4,the countless game CDs , his clothes, his books. The house looked impeccably clean and enviably calm.
I missed Shan. In my silence and thoughts about him, I came of realisation that in my overwhelming desire to send him back to school, I had not wished my child good luck for his new academic life in his new school.


In guilt I shut my eyes . It took me only a second to slip into a prayer for all the children returning to school after their holidays. I asked for forgiveness on behalf of all the mothers who would have cursed and punished their children during the holidays out of frustration . I am sure all the mothers would agree with me that our children have taken birth from the very depths of our soul and no force can snatch away the unconditional love we will feel for them till eternity. I am also sure that they will see us beyond all the screaming , yelling and come of understanding some day that they were and will always be a part of our beating heart.


God bless all the beautiful children of the world and God ,please, bless us mothers a little more ( to act of our age !!)

Grey Reflections!!

They are floating away
They are also stubborn
Gently pushing is the fine breeze
only wanting to unveil the universal smile.
Refusing to listen are the intense ones
Naive ones, are always obedient
Growling and Grumbling , emotions burst
Wrapping me in a desirable blanket of passionate sorrow.
In its eruption i melt
Reducing into a fine nothing
as a paper constantly ripped in half.
Wiping out the darkness
appears the brightest star.
Happy as i am
but the longing so remain
In melancholy , i ask
the disappeared grey reflections,
Where art thou &
When shalt thou return , my friend .......

She made me rich !!!

'To the world you may be just one person ,
but to one person you may be the world'

Ok! That's an extreme expression in this particular case. But its close! This salwar clad woman may be just another ordinary person, but for me, she is my walking talking childhood that refuse to grow up .
Every year when I travel home, she comes to meet me. Every time she comes, she unwraps beautiful moments from the past I want to indulge in !
We then wandered like vagabonds plucking flowers, ripping leaves, munching on the tropical fruits found in the tree shaded yard, sharing itty bitty secrets, checking on the cattle, shaking off the final resting drops of rain from the tree. 
Year after year when we meet, we walk down the memory lane chuckling away at the seemingly silly but intense montage looming large.
Those days we just enjoyed childhood,we didn't think beyond. It didn't matter whether she was a Muslim or a Christian, it didn't matter whether she was rich or poor, it didn't matter whether she was clean or not ! All that mattered was the inexplicable joy we shared as kids.
When my school holidays ended, i had to leave her and my beautiful ancestral house to return to the mundane school life. When I left ,I used to keep looking back and wave until she turned into a little blur figure. Then i would look ahead , use my fingers and toes to count my days to the next holidays.

I feel rich. Maimoona, she made me rich !!

Destination Now!!

As mentioned in my prelude, about Today being the gift i waited for Yesterday, in this poem 'Destination Now' , I narrowed it down to NOW !!

We need to actually make a conscious effort to remind ourselves that this is the very moment we need to dip ourselves in ! Be in its complete awareness . I have very often noticed that even when we are enjoying a much awaited event , we worry or get anxious about it getting over soon and returning to our mundane chores . These thoughts not only dampen the fire we ought to feel for the moment, but also extinguish the hope for a beautiful tomorrow. 

In this poem i have tried to express how one must consider every moment as one's teacher. Be it good or bad, every life moment can add a little to your very essence.  

Destination Now

I journey through
the sun kissed valleys
the dark deep woods
the vibrant dazzling flora
the enchanting silence of the snow capped mountains
Overwhelming nothingness of spirituality

As i cleanse through emotions each
A layer of pseudo aura i shed
a seeker i am
an eternal one that too
The more i journey ,the more i seek
Unfolding in me is the unmasked

Arrived, i have, where i had to
Perceived, i have , what i ought to
I arrive , perceive and
I will for aeons to come

The humble seeker in me bows down
To the enlightening master
In this moment is my being
My eyes i close, my lungs i fill, my journey i resume
To DESTINATION NOW!!!

Israel - Palestine : A Vicious Circle !!!!

'An eye for an eye makes the whole word blind' M K Gandhi

'Whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also' Bible

Quotes after quotes can be written on patience, forgiveness ,tolerance , positive thinking etc. As normal earthlings leading normal lives ( some of us, that is! ), how much can we bring into our daily lives .

Frankly speaking or rather questioning, haven't we grown immune to these disturbing images from across the globe?? Since Hitlers time , holocaust images and images of concentration camps have been shocking the world in horror !! Images which continued to question the faith in humanity did not cease with those. It came under the names Hiroshima- Nagasaki bombings , World War 2 ; still considered as the deadliest conflict in human history, invasion of Kuwait and now (not really!!) it is the innocent lifeless faces in GAZA!! Puts one in a helpless emotion lacking colour .
At times i feel these little ones are luckier than their previous generations, who have been dragging their lives through this suffering for years . Blessed are these souls who have departed to a safer, happier space . Let me hope that they came here for a short while to clear off some karmic debt after which they have returned home .
These are ways of reasoning and finding peace when earthly answers and justifications cease to make sense .

I dont know what it takes to stop the atrocities across the globe, really !! It touches me and it hurts me and i just pour it out here. Below are the words of an Israeli poet and peace activist Dan Almagor from his poem "In My Shoes,” . He describes how his acquaintance with Walid, an employee in his local grocery store, changed his perception of Palestinians:

For some people a Palestinian is Yasir Arafat,
A youth throwing a Molotov cocktail at a bus,
A boy hurling taunts at soldiers and cursing their mothers.
When you say “Palestinian” to me, I think of Walid,
The only Palestinian I know and who knows me....

(Almagor had given Walid his second hand clothes for relatives in his village including an old pair of shoes which he expresses in his poem as below)

How strange to think that someone, somewhere
in Walid’s village near Nablus,
Is wearing my shoes now.
Once, not so very long ago,
I was in his shoes .

So, this is proof that there are beautiful minds on either sides of the missiles , shells and rockets. I hope that the numbers increase to its population size . Hoping for a better tomorrow , not just for GAZA, also the entire world !!!

Womens Internation League for Peace and Freedom US , on GAZA